Are you hesitant to take the first steps in a meeting?
Do you feel a great discomfort, a deep discomfort?
I understand you, because I too have experienced this and most people have experienced it, but if you are looking for solutions, without understanding your situation, then you expose yourself to greater difficulties to meet someone.
You may even live in fear that will paralyze you and will kill any initiative to meet someone you are interested in.
Here are the simple steps to free yourself from rejection, shyness and appearances:
- A problem is not solved with a solution
- Rejection is a necessary and natural thing
- Shyness is a lack of interest in others
- The appearance is insufficient to seduce
A problem is not solved with a solution to do (absolutely!)
Rejection, shyness or physical appearance is very simple to overcome, but because you have a deep belief in how you solve a problem, then you react in the usual way that does not work.
This deep habit is that of trying to find a solution to a problem.
When millions, if not billions, believe that a problem is solved with a solution, then it’s hard not to believe it.
It may sound strange, but solving a problem is not in the search for ideas to do outside of you to correct your situation. By looking for solutions out of you, then you are moving away, you are fleeing the real solution, you are the solution and what you have to do is: DO NOTHING IMMEDIATELY .
You must accept and understand that others are not the solution to your problem
You are the one who lives rejection, you are the one who is shy and you are the one who believes that appearance is the only thing that matters to meet someone.
Looking for a solution in others, without first understanding who and how the problem was created , is one of the deepest beliefs that does not work and if you do not change that belief, then nothing will change no matter what you will do.
To change a belief, one must accept and understand the current situation, the problem, without judgment or condemnation in order to bring into your mind, a higher choice.
Because in the absence of choice, no choice is possible.
You must accept and understand rejection, shyness and appearance. You must avoid reacting by seeking a solution, because so you are running away, you are afraid to know you as you are .
Rejection is a necessary and natural thing
In my first encounters with girls, I was not aware that they also had preferences and that was perfectly natural.
The rejection of the girls quickly made me understand that I could not please or interest everyone and not everyone could please me or interest me.
However, the reaction of the girls who were in group hurt me, because the rejection was rather a form to ridicule me. I then understood, to always approach a girl who was with another girl or alone, because the girls in group do not intend to meet someone, but to have fun together.
Sometimes the girl had no interest, but instead of telling me her truth from the beginning, she was hiding it, and then I persisted in not knowing what was going on and why she had a more attitude or less interested. And then she rejected me without knowing why. I realized that many girls did not tell their truth because they lacked self-confidence.
The rejection also made me realize that I could be rejected according to my way of being in a relationship. I understood that I could please a girl, but that was not enough to have an interesting conversation .
Rejection has also created a fear, a fear that paralyzes my actions to meet someone. Experienced rejections created unhappy feelings in me, and when I wanted to approach someone, these memories came to haunt me and so procrastinate or forever.
Am I the only one to have experienced this? Of course not !
Thus, rejection is necessary to understand others and understand me.
But in making a judgment of evil on rejection, making a judgment of evil on my feelings, then I avoided understanding the situation and thus produce in me, that unhappy feeling of rejection.
What matters is to determine immediately , if the other has a sincere interest in us. Ask a question to get a “yes” answer.
I would like to discuss with you, do you give me your permission?
A “yes” answer is essential in order to have no doubts.
Shyness is a lack of interest in others
Shyness has nothing to do with speaking little. Often, discomfort or shyness occurs in relation to someone you do not know.
With strangers, we do not know what to talk about and then we come to believe that shyness is in not speaking.
Nothing is further from the truth!
The most difficult thing to do in a new meeting is not to take the first steps, but to continue an interesting conversation, once you have taken the first steps.
That’s where shyness comes into being , that’s where the fear of having a blank memory comes in, and it’s often during that moment that you can be rejected because you do not know what to say. could interest the other.
And do you know what interests most others?
Themselves, simply! Just like you !
So do not try to talk about yourself, but intend to want to know others about what’s passionate about their lives or what they really do not like?
Shyness is simply a learned habit, an absence or a deep unconsciousness not to be interested in others, so to be focused on your selfish desires.
And when you have an interest in others, then they will have it with you in a natural way and without any effort.
The appearance is insufficient to seduce
I watched this girl in the distance and I appreciated her beauty. My mind was telling me, Claude she is too beautiful for you? So my fear came from the comparison, from not being up to it.
But have you noticed that it is often those who have an ordinary appearance who meet people who are less superficial and look good?
Our world places so much importance on physical beauty, that we almost all believe, that appearance is the only value that matters in dating.
Thus, people believe that they must do everything to please or seduce others to be noticed, to be a beautiful image, to be up to the task.
Is appearance to compensate for their fear of rejection by seeking others to take the first step?
Is appearance to compensate for their shyness by trying to get others to start the conversation?
It is perfectly fine to look good, but if you want to meet and find the love of your life, you need to look beyond appearances.
See that the obsession about the appearance hides deep fears and purely selfish desires.
This does not mean forgetting appearances, it means that a human being is much more than an image.
The true seduction in an encounter lies both in the appearance, confidence and attitude of a person in the relationship, not in physical beauty alone.
To act with confidence is to understand your fears
You can not have the initiative to meet someone, if you do not agree and do not understand your fears.
- The fear of rejection
- The fear of not knowing what to say
- The fear of not having a beautiful appearance, being up to
By understanding them, you go beyond them, but by denying them, you only give them more strength, more power in your unconscious beliefs.
The biggest fear is to say that you are not afraid!
Trust is not the absence of fear, but the acceptance of fear and choosing to overcome this discomfort without knowing the results.