What gives you momentum, motivates you to want to meet someone?
Have you ever thought about it?
- Fill a void
- To make you like
- Someone to love
- End your loneliness
- Soothe your ego
- Show your success
- To be recognized as important
- End your depression
- Improve your sex life
- Healing from a previous relationship
- Relieve your boredom.
In fact, none of these reasons works and, unless there is a drastic change along the way, no transformation will occur in your relationship.
The problem is not people, but the belief
The real intention or purpose of a relationship is to decide which part of yourself you would like to see, and not what part of someone else you can appropriate, control and retain.
So most people come into contact with what they can get out of it, what they can get, instead of what they can do.
To withdraw happiness and satisfaction.
This belief is profound because when billions of people believe in it, it is very difficult not to believe it!
But no matter what belief, does that serve you to live healthy and just relationships?
Not to see you as adversaries, but as partners?
And to see the consequences in relationships, there is something that does not work with this belief …
Your memory is the major obstacle that kills any new motivation to meet love
When you have never experienced a dating or romantic relationship, you have nothing in your memory. You act with confidence to live an unknown new experience.
When you have lived experiences that have caused unhappy feelings , your memory creates barriers, limits, constraints. You react with fear, with suspicion, so as not to relive the same known experiences.
When you listen to others without experience, you accumulate words in your memory. You do not act and you do not react , so you wait and have no initiative. You talk a lot without doing anything to get others to act for you.
Therefore, your memory is the major obstacle that prevents you from being motivated to choose new experiences, to choose new encounters.
Memory is useful for doing the same things again, but totally useless for doing new things.
Does your memory stop you from believing something else?
The soul creates and the memory recreates your experiences
If you want to find the love of your life , you must avoid repeating the same unhappy experiences.
You must also avoid, to listen to these billions of people who constantly repeat, that the other must make you happy, that you must make the other happy.
In other words, you have to choose something else completely different from the others. This difference is that of creating the love of your life , not of recreating what it is not with your habits, your beliefs, your memory.
The soul creates from the present, from the present feeling, while the memory recreates from a past idea that it seeks to make continue in the future, because what is known is comfortable, no matter if it works or not.
You can not forget a memory that is in your feelings
It is the memory that prevents you from doing a new action and you can not forget it, even if you say that you will forget it.
For example, you had a painful experience during a last meeting and your memory remembers it. She does not want you to relive that and then she resists. The more it resists, the more you remember.
To free yourself from this, you must not forget it, but accept it. Accept that it did not work, accept your lesser choice and thus give you the opportunity to make a new choice , a higher choice.
This new choice is a new state of being in relation to others.
Therefore, if you want different results, you must become aware of your soul , your feelings or states of being and so choose what is unknown, what is new, not what is known.
But when billions of people use their memory, it is impossible to change something because their memory recreates the same state of being. Memory is not conscious of the soul, of your state of being at every moment.
Memory is the past while the soul is the present.
Memory can not create new, it can only recreate old, known. It is the soul that indicates a new creative choice, but it is the mind that decides.
What is the source of your motivation to meet someone?
Your true motivation always has its source in the known or the unknown. According to a known feeling or a state of being unknown.
If the known feeling is comfortable (well), you react with confidence to do it again.If the known feeling is uncomfortable (bad), you react with the fear that prevents you from doing it again.
In these two situations, what did you become aware of? Absolutely nothing, is not it? Your motivation to make a new choice is nonexistent.
For example, you were twice rejected by people you wanted to meet, and now you are hesitating to meet again.
This hesitation is a fear, a fear of reliving the known which is uncomfortable.
How to free yourself from this discomfort?
Most people will tell you that you have to act and go ahead with confidence . And that’s exactly how you will hurt yourself and destroy all motivation.
In fact, going for it without having the intention of understanding your uncomfortable feeling will reproduce the same uncomfortable feeling in the other and make you reject again.
When you accept, intend to understand your uncomfortable feeling in relation to the rejection of the other, then you free yourself from fear and thus bring into you, a new state of being, a new choice to be to approach someone differently, so with new confidence.
You choose in your imagination, a new way of being that pleases the other, that does good to the other, not to forget the other, as you did for past encounters where you were rejected.
In other words, you must change your intention.
How to change your intention in a romantic relationship?
The intention, the goal, is what you seek to achieve to produce what you would like to achieve while being attentive to what the other also has as goal.
Most people learn from habit learned by having in mind what they can learn from it.
Now you have a new choice, you get in touch by having in mind what you can bring to each other for his well-being.
You do not want to give something to the other to get a return, because that is also to have in mind, to withdraw something through an exchange.
You bring a way of being in your relationship with each other knowing that you are doing it for your good too.
Choose yourself to be fair, kind, caring, respectful, tolerant, generous, smiling, sincere, honest, compassionate, funny, etc.
You understand now that you have never connected by being attentive to yourself and offering states to be to each other. You were asleep in a deep belief of wanting something from the other.
The well-being of both, so the feeling of both, is the only goal that works in a relationship, because love is not a personal thing, but a relational thing.