Are you looking for one last solution for your couple to find out if you have to leave or stay?
Are you tired of reading and trying all kinds of solutions that do not change your situation?
Probably the only solution that works, and you have never tried, is to do nothing …
The habit of reacting only repeats the same process that reproduces the same results!
One of the deep habits we have when we are in a relationship is to believe that something must be done to get rid of this uncomfortable situation.
The other hurt us or made us unhappy, and so our reaction is to believe that a discussion with words could solve our situation. We believe that communication is a solution!
Yet our discussion is always filled with revenge, judgment, criticism, blame, accusation, obligation and condition. And then the other reacts with promises, excuses, forgiveness and justifications.
All these are just words!
This reaction with words is a lesser choice. Believing that communication is a solution is also a lesser choice!
The habit of believing that communication is a solution that solves the problems of couples!
It is good to inform the other of what we feel and what we observe.
But communication is not a solution that works because it misses your action. The more you speak and the less you act! And the less you act, the more you want to force the other to act!
When we use words to achieve our ends, then it shows that we are not willing, that we are afraid to do kind actions and want the other to submit to our will.
We live our relationships by seeking others to do kind acts for our happiness. Thus, we use words as a means to control people so that they make us happy.
The other does the same thing and then no one in the couple does a kind action freely, without the other asking to do it … The action is a reaction for fear of losing something and is requested by the other.
Have you unconsciously created your situation?
It never comes to your mind, that if the other has reacted thus, then he must have something that you have created unhappy in the feelings of the other.
You live a difficult situation, because you chose it and having chosen it, you created it.
Of course, you have not consciously chosen to have problems in your relationship, but you have been taught not to observe your feelings and intentions as well as those of others in a relationship and this is what creates a problem.
What matters is to accept that you have created your situation and not the other. To accept that you made the other react. To question you, to understand, to see if you can give a new meaning to this experience.
This is living in the present and not thinking of any solution that indicates that you are not in the present, that you are avoiding it, that you deny it.
How can you understand yourself if you are not with truths?
Never do something from an uncomfortable feeling, because that is how you create all your problems unconsciously and believe that it is the others who created them.
Why not choose to offer the other what you want for you?
When the other hurts you or does not make you happy, why not choose to make him happy without obligation, but to choose this situation as a wonderful opportunity to offer to the other, to create in your relationship, what you want for you?
By giving the other what you want for you, then you experience it, you experience your creative power.
Your wife or man does not show you any attention?
So here is the opportunity to pay attention to each other! Thus, you will not live in the expectations that make you unhappy or unhappy.
Do to others, what you want us to do to you!
This is not a beautiful phrase, but a universal truth.
Because knowing that you are doing good to others without anyone obliging you, you are well to do so and do not forget your own happiness.